cue mickey music...

what i have been wondering for the last few weeks now is: when did my life turn into an emotional theme park? no explanations, no stories, i just want some sort of answer. it's like the normal highs and lows aren't enough, but you gotta add some excess and extremes in there to really throw me off. i liked it when things were relatively steady and clear and i had a good grasp on what i was doing and a fair understanding of the people around me... but no, apparently letting things lie like that is just to much to ask for. instead uni work has to go insane and clients have to shake my confidence and people have to go all funny on me. i'm at that point now where i am getting everything done, but all i want is a vacation... from everything. i want sleep and people to smile at me and all the stressful things to just go away. i would like to feel well balanced. the truth is that i have nothing to complain about except for an overactive thought process and imagination. life is actually wonderful. but then why can't i sleep at night? what am i worrying about... and why the hell am i worrying about it? i guess the truth is that i am a little flustered and a bit confused. the good don't outweigh the annoying, but it doesn't go the other way either. after all, i got to spend a weekend with my little cousins who are so cute and always bring a smile to my face and surprise, i am a godmother to a beautiful, strong, healthy baby girl. i couldn't be more honored, nor really could i be in a better place in life for what i have going on and what i am doing. uni is hard, but i like what i am learning. life is annoying, but i'm in a good place surrounded by good people (whether i understand them or not). and of course, i will sort out my emotions and my life the way i always do... march on with a smile on my face (as i said to a friend recently... the inside doesn't matter to those who can't see it, only to those who can). i wish my life was more exciting so that i didn't have to post these angsty comments to keep myself amused... but alas, there are very few breaks in my current future from the tedium of too much to do with too little time. anyways, spring is here! ciao...